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~deadbyassoc

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About Me Member Rhyming Poet deadbyassoc28/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 6 Years
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Happiness Equals PainWhat was once before so calming, broken now with time.  
 
The simple pleasures that were not taken for granted, now missing from my mind.  
 
There were happy times before this, now gone from me at last.   
I sit alone and battle with the demons that have haunted me from my past.   
A smile so freely given; shattered like my dreams.   
The voices talking to me now, filling my head with screams.   
I want to live again, and fill my lungs with breath.   
Now the only things I see; are thoughts filled with death.   
One minute of happiness is all that I desire. &nbs Happiness Equals Pain
by ~deadbyassoc
The Holding Cell   I am trapped inside my holding cell; it looks like there is no escape. No matter how loud you scream or how hard you bang, it will never be enough. No one will ever hear you. I sit and think a while about why I have been taken from a world of reality and placed inside this living hell.     I can feel the cold wind blowing here. It sends shivers down my spine. The darkness closes in on me and I am afraid of what the nighttime leaves behind. I huddle in the corner of life and battle with my fears. I wear the mask of death as the night’s lights come up in the rear. I awake in the morning and am still afraid. The Holding Cell
by ~deadbyassoc
My Life...There's a cold wind blowing here, sending shivers down my spine.  When I close my eyes tonight, what fears await my mind?   
A holding cell to trap my soul, or a demon to hold me tight?  No matter what it is, I am too tired now to fight.   
I will walk along this lonely path, holding hands with the dark.  In the morning when I look into the mirror, I can see the tainted mark.   
No matter where I run to now, it is not far enough.  I can't keep on going, this journey is too tough.   
I awaken to see I'm dreaming, still running from my bed.  When I awaken from this sleep, am I alr My Life...
by ~deadbyassoc
The Waiting GameI sit and feel sorry for myself. I don’t know exactly how much time is left.     Do I pull this trigger and flush this existence down the drain? Or do I sit my sorry self outside in the pouring rain?     How much time do I have here? Is this lifestyle called life supposed to be this weird?     How can I express this feeling this is deep inside? Do I try and help it out? Or try to help it hide?     Am I just a sorry excuse of what I used to be? Or am I something else; of what he expects from me?     Can you not hear my pleads for you? I need you The Waiting Game
by ~deadbyassoc
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~belgarath 

Again I crawl back

Sat Aug 21, 2004, 4:54 AM
I've been trying to write for a long time now, and I suddenly feel as if the words, that I had thought were hidden from my thoughts, are returning back to me and I shall be thrown back into writing. I haven't written anything in almost a year, I hope, even though all I can write about is my pain, and I thought it had healed, that I can write once more. I feel an emptiness when I can't write, a longing to explore more and more of the deep secrets I seem to find in my dreams at night. So we'll see what happens. I'm glad I'm not a writer for a living or I'd be in trouble for sure now, with nothing at all on paper. I'll take it one step at a time. See you on the other side.
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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Phoenix, Az
  • Interests: Poetry, gaming, horseback riding, sewing
  • Favourite movie: too many to name
  • Favourite band or musician: Korn, Rammstein, DJ Tiesto, Sys of a Down
  • Favourite genre of music: Something hard and full of pain.
  • Favourite artist: Mikey, my slave friend
  • Favourite poet or writer: A friend
  • Favourite photographer: Chris, my widdle bro
  • Favourite style of art: I'm a sucker for black and white images
  • Operating System: XP Pro
  • MP3 player of choice: winamp
  • Favourite game: Unreal Tournament
  • Favourite gaming platform: unreal
  • Favourite cartoon character: Emily Strange, Lenore, Daria
  • Personal Quote: We are all dead, until we learn to live.
  • Tools of the Trade: paper, pen, notepad, photoshop, digicam

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:iconbelgarath:
~belgarath Feb 16, 2005, 11:23:51 AM
Troi doesn't come around no more :(

--
"I don't like work - no man does - but I like what is in the work - the chance to find yourself. Your own reality - for yourself - not for others - what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means."
:iconbelgarath:
~belgarath Jun 27, 2003, 6:05:42 PM
Hey hey, welcome to DA! While talking to you earlier I stumbled upon your accound, but now I just have to wait for you to submit something ;) (Wink)

--
"I don't like work - no man does - but I like what is in the work - the chance to find yourself. Your own reality - for yourself - not for others - what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means."
:icondeadbyassoc:
~deadbyassoc Aug 11, 2003, 11:56:06 PM
I've been meaning to submit some of my poetry, but each time I read over it, it feels like I need to change some things and reword them all... so we'll see in the next couple of weeks if I get around to it, what I think is submittable.
:iconchuupacabra:
~Chuupacabra Aug 19, 2003, 11:47:34 AM
sometimes what we feel at that exact moment is better then random edits later when the feeling is gone or a blur
:icondeadbyassoc:
~deadbyassoc Sep 6, 2003, 7:53:19 PM
Agreed, but I am always my biggest critic. Thanks for your help and your understanding. I'll try to get something submitted soon, that hasn't been edited to death :p
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